Saturday, September 18, 2010
A Cry Out – LOUD
(by a girl who was abused Sexually, Emotionally and Mentally)
I’m sure you know me. I am just another ordinary girl, who dwells in the slums of the capital of your beloved Country. My Mommy works for a noble blue blooded lady who resides in the south of our capital. She keeps her house uncontaminated so that our noble mistress’ noble children are not struck by a mini virus while I lay here midst the most dreadful and horrific diseases; she cooks the most appetizing and scrumptious delicacies for them while most of the times I go to bed with a starving stomach; she also feeds little master Rony with her own milk while my irritating younger brother lays weeping on the floor probably craving for the milk that was drenched out by the evil sucker. But I don’t complain because Mommy always asks me not to. She says someone called Providence has provided us with all down here and is constantly watching us, and I should not annoy him by cribbing for what I have been unfortunately denied. So I sit here in this crunched up space awaiting her return each day.
Sometimes she takes me along to the big house. It’s elaborate and beautiful but I don’t like it there when saab (the Karta of this palace) is around. He often takes me to the storeroom at the back of the house. He tells me he will play with me but he doesn’t play. He tickles me all over, he then pinches my nipples and shoves his big thing into my pussy. I don’t like it and it hurts but I dare not utter a word for Mommy says you need not tell no one but God. I am scared when I look into his eyes and so I always look away. I scream when it hurts but none hear and after a while I don’t because the more I scream the more it seems to hurt. But one day sister Martha came to visit us and since Mommy always says she is God’s messenger, I told her to tell God. Sister Martha looked annoyed and I don’t know what she told Mommy that made her cry all night. Sister Martha took me to Inspector saab the next day and told me to tell him what I told her. I said I can’t because Mommy said you must never tell no one but God. She didn’t understand and told Mommy I was an “Impure Bitch”. I asked Mommy what that means but she wouldn’t talk to me anymore. She doesn’t go to the big house either. I sometimes regret telling Sister Martha about it. I don’t believe she is God’s messenger anymore. I cry a lot these days, way too often but nobody seems to care. I wonder what people mean when they say my soul is “tainted”???